Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Omigod, be safe!!!

Do you know what I hate? Locking the door. Yes, that's right.

Alright, so maybe it isn't the act of actually locking the door; it's this whole paranoid about safety thing. I'm surprised that the girls keep the door locked when they are home during the day. I mean, come on. In Chesterville, that is unheard of. Even many people in Ottawa, for example, keep their doors unlocked when they are home. Even some in Toronto.
We're only in Lennoxville.
Moreover, when we lock our door, we are protected by not only one, but two locked doors. The door downstairs locks automatically every time you close it. I do not see the point of having two locked doors during the day when you are home! Also, I find it a hassle to have to unlock the door every time I come home from somewhere. And yes, the girls are there ninety-five percent of the time.

This is also reminding me of the time in Peace River, Alberta when I walked back home alone, a 45-minute walk, at around 11 pm. Two weeks prior, I was watching a movie at a participant's house. Afterwards, I told them I wanted to go home anyway, after learning that my ride fell through. They refused (both male and female) and told me that they weren't letting me walk home (40 minutes) at this hour of the night. I don't remember the time, but it was quite late. Perhaps it wasn't the safest thing to do, but I found it annoying that they weren't letting me go. They said it was dangerous because it was at night and who knows what can happen to an 18-year old girl at night! They told me to spend the night at their host family's place. I really hate imposing on people like this, especially since I barely knew the host family. Reluctantly, I ended up spending the night. So, that's why I walked home alone a few weeks later (after a ride fell through again). I wasn't scared at all. Yes, this was in defiance to the whole paranoia about my safety, or rather about a female's safety.

Yes, I realize that it is all for my safety, but come on! It angers me that people always warn me that I will be raped or mugged or kidnapped or something just because I'm female. Yes, I realize that I am a more susceptible victim than my male counterparts, but I don't think that constantly trying to scare me will do anything about it except make me a worry-wart.
Oh, and by the way, I never planned to walk back late at night; it was just when rides fell through. I hate it when people worry about me in these kind of situations, so I never told my group or my host family that I walked home alone that night. It would have be an unnecessary worry.

I suppose I am just not afraid of strangers breaking into my house, enticing me into their car, or raping me. It doesn't really cross my mind. I am always very careful, smart about situations, and I figure I will never be put in an iffy situation because I don't think I am one to attract that kind of danger.
Perhaps I sound naïve about my safety, but I think that it just doesn't overly worry me. I do understand someone's concern for my safety, but what I don't like is the whole paranoia thing.


Leonard Cohen: So then, Miranda, what is your biggest danger?

Miranda: Well, Lenny, I'd have to say it is the possibility of having my legs broken by my friends because of my constant and ever-present tardiness.

2 comments:

Zaza said...

...yup, this is what people always tell me. I suppose I should have expected this. I've especially heard this quote a lot: "Do you suppose that, were we to survey victims of rape or sexual assault, that no one would say they thought it wouldn't happen to them?"

It's the classic, naïve line: "Oh, it happens to those girls, but not to me!"

Do you honestly think I believe that? I said nowhere that I do.

I know I am not smarter than the rape victims.
And I know that walking home alone at night in a city is stupid.
I do not feel "bulletproff" at all; I know there are horrible people there; I realize that safety is of utmost importance.

Yes, yes I know all of this. I've heard all of this. I believe all of this. Gah.
What I was trying to say is that I don't like this paranoia that exists. Paranoia that leads to stupid things like locking two doors when you are home. I believe you have to be CAREFUL and take measures to ensure safety, but you don't have to be PARANOID or overbearing about it all.

I realize that I need to be careful and safe, and I realize that terrible things can happen to me, but if I lived forever in fear, I wouldn't do anything now, would I?

And about imposing? It's not a ridiculous "psychological issue". Good God. Of course I would rather impose than sacrifice safety. At the time, I was just fed up with the whole paranoia. I know it was a bad idea to walk home at night alone, but that is not what I'm suggesting people do. I am just saying that that's what resulted after me being annoyed.

And yes, I realize it is all for my safety. I seem to be repeating myself here. I'm not stupid or naïve, and I certainly know that this is not Chesterville.

Believe me, I've heard these points over and over again; they've been drilled in my head through years of school and of just people telling me. I realize I have to be safe and careful. But this is not what I was saying!

All I am saying is that it doesn't keep me awake all night and that I think we cultivate fear a little too much.

Man, people always tell me the exact same things every time I bring up anything about safety. However, ALL that I am saying is that I'm a little annoyed with the over abundance of paranoia with safety.

Zaza said...

It is kind of sad that we are so driven and controlled by fear in our society. I think that controlling by fear has gotten way out of hand. As people need to be a little scared, they foremost need to be careful and aware. What we need is a balance. We need a little fear to keep us from being too stupid or getting ourselves into danger, and we need a little courage to let us do what we want. Fear is promulgated way too much these days.

Oh, and I am totally one to lock the car doors when an asian or black guy walks by, especially an asian, especially if he smells bad and dances like a zombie.