Monday, November 28, 2005

Time (3)

As per usual, soft, classical music from CBC woke me up this morning. I look at the clock-radio, and it says 9:41 am. I look at my watch, and it says 9:35, though keep in mind that I always keep my watch five minutes ahead. Anyway, I was a bit confused, because I usually keep all of my other clocks at normal time and only set my watch ahead.

Regardless of the time situation, I get out of bed.

I walk down to the school about an hour earlier, so I can get some piano practise time in. I look at the clock between the large arches, and it is ten minutes ahead of real time.

Pff, the clocks at school are wrong again, I think without a second thought. Though I may have been overgeneralizing, I have encountered a few clocks at Bishop's that were a few minutes off.

After an hour of tickling the ivory, I get to my Deviance class at 1 pm, on the dot.
But, low and behold! The clock in my Deviance class is also ten minutes ahead! The professor has already started his lecture, and I tiptoe in as quietly as possible and get my notes out. Stupid wrong school clocks.

Once class has ended, I tell Andrea how I was late because the stupid clock in the classroom was ten minutes ahead. Because she doesn't carry a watch, Andrea didn't argue.
After running a few errands after class, Andrea and I found ourselves on the library couches, reading, and talking to Anna. I look up from my book at one point, thinking about returning a book, and I glance at the library clock. A few seconds later, I look at my watch out of habit: 3:23.

What?! This clock is also wrong? Why can't the school have any correct clocks?

It suddenly hits me. It's not all of the clocks that are wrong; it's my watch. Right? Frantically, I run over to Anna and read the time on her laptop over her shoulder. 15:33.

My watch is ten minutes behind.

Now, this is a huge deal for me, as I am extremely dependant on time, and my watch is the one that guides me through this time-filled/timeless life. I panic for a few seconds, but it is only for perhaps a split second that I am completely and utterly lost.

It was very unsettling.

That's when I started worrying about time, and how time is all an abstract concept, and how time is really not there, but things change anyway. My mind was jumbled up with thoughts and fears that Andrea really couldn't answer and make me feel better. Although she did answer questions I had about time's abstractness, she did not understand why I was so unnerved. It is strange how we panic over such things. Andrea feels really lost and confused about her faith which she feels is disappearing more and more each day. I have the same kind of fear for time. Once people start saying that there is no time, and it's always "now", well, then I panic. It's kind of like someone asking you what's outside the universe or how big it is. It's mind-boggling.

This happened on Thursday, and today is Monday. In case you were concerned, do not worry, for my fears have now been soothed. As long as I don't think about it, continue to be late, and look at my watch every thirteen nanoseconds, I'll feel fine.


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