Thursday, April 06, 2006

An Unsuitable Dinner Conversation

Tonight, somehow the fact that Andrea has a fear of spit came about. In the film, Die Blechtrommel, Oskar's way of flirtation with his nanny is by spitting into her hand, sprinkling some sugar in it, and then she would lick it up seductively. Admittedly, it is kind of gross, but not something to induce gag reflexes.

Andrea cannot bear even have the visual in mind or else she'll start gagging. When I pointed out that in kissing there is in fact a lot of spit going around, she said that to her it's completely different. The gross part is when the spit is out and then ingested again (by the spitter or by someone else). I do understand how this is kind of disgusting, but it does not make my face twist into a weird oh-my-god-I-am-going-to-upchuck-soon grimace.

Speaking of vomit, of course, when one person's fear comes out, mine usually does too. Although the spitting and ingesting it again thought isn't pleasant, it is vomit that does it for me every time. I wimpered when Andrea brought it up. I can hardly stand the thought of vomit (and vomiting itself), and probably the majority people who read this blog know this quite well already.

Then, Paula told us about her "totally irrational fear": sharks! Ever since she saw Jaws last year, she has been deathly afraid of sharks. She even admitted to having daydreams about little sharks in her bathtub. Andrea and I tried to reassure her that little sharks wouldn't do much harm because they are so little, you see. I asked Andrea what she thought about a little bit of cold, frothy spit. She moaned and put her head between her knees.

Whilst Andrea was breathing heavily and Paula trying to regain her senses after a shark scare, I said:

"Imagine a pool of vomit topped off with frothy spit with sharks swimming inside?"

We all moaned and shook our heads, trying to fend off the horrible nightmare.

Paula wondered why we were trying to think of our worst fear.

"But wait", she said with hope, her mind focussed solely on the sharks, "with all the vomit and spit in the pool, the sharks wouldn't be able to survive!"

We all thought about it for a minute.

But then she exclaimed: "But that wouldn't be good either! They would all sink to the bottom, and I wouldn't be sure that they would be dead, and I would still be scared!"

We all groaned again, Paula thinking about not knowing if the sharks would be dead or not, Andrea thinking of the cold, frothy spit, and me imagining nothing else but the vomit.

I asked Paula how she would feel if I chucked her into the Spit and Vomit Shark-Filled pool covered in blood. She said she would be dead.

We decided it best to change the subject.

1 comment:

Effovex said...

When I was much younger, I was told that in order to even have a chance to contract AIDS through kissing would be to drink like a whole bucketful of seropositive saliva. That thought was somehow less than pleasant.

Also I'm deathly afraid of scurvy. YAR!

(Hey, no brackets in this post! Oh wait...)