Sex and Oktoberfest

Maude is at the Lion Pub with some friends when some random dude comes up to her and says,

Dude: "Hey toé, veux-tu du sexe?"

Maude: "Écrase-toi!"

When I was translating this, I started laughing when I came to the "écrase" part because it is literally translated as "squish". Oh, go squish yourself!

Someone else remarked, "at least he's direct. He knows what he wants, eh?"

I made pretzels today with the Bishop's German Club, though they looked nothing like pretzels, but more like little clumps of je-ne-sais-quoi. I figured this wouldn't be a problem until both Germans began laughing at me.
Hrmpf, that's the last time I invite Germans to an Oktoberfest!